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So You Want to Lose Some Weight?

People go on about the decline of the United States – lower test scores, fewer jobs, an economy in recession, our loss of status in the world. Well I’m here to tell you it’s not all downhill. That’s right, my friends, chin up! For when it comes to fatties, the United States is Number One!

We might not have jobs, our homes are in foreclosure, our schools and health care system suck, but when it comes to big fat people waddling around in spandex and stuffing their faces with crappy food, we’re the champs! Hurrah!

Alas, some of these poor fat souls fail to recognize their position of prominence in the world’s fattest country and actually want to lose weight and get in shape. Can you believe it! No pride of ownership. Well, if you’re one of these dissatisfied few who’d like to work their way back to the bottom of the fat people ladder, I’ve got some information for you.

Whenever people talk about losing weight, you hear the same mantra repeated: exercise, exercise, exercise. I’m here to tell you folks, although impoertant, exercise has a lot less to do with losing weight than whatever it is you’re stuffing down your throat.

Let’s look at an example, shall we? The lowly McDonald’s cheeseburger, ubiquitous in its presence, available in almost all corners of our country. Yes, easy to get and easy to suck down in four bites. Who among us, at one time or another, hasn’t assuaged our hunger with one of these, usually accompanied by fries and a soda?

Let’s skip the accessories and focus on the burger itself, which clocks in at around 300 calories.

Informational aside: What is a calorie? In simplest terms, a calorie then is a measure of energy. Bodies need energy, so we eat food, and the energy food contains is measured in calories. Weight gain happens when you take in more energy than your body uses. Your body uses energy all the time. It uses more when you exercise. The more strenuous the exercise, the more energy used.

So it’s common thought that all one needs to do to lose weight is up the energy expenditure of the body to burn extra calories. This is absolutely true. If your energy expenditure is more than your energy intake, you’ll lose weight. But let’s look at the facts.

As I mentioned above, a McDonald’s cheeseburger has around 300 calories. If you ate a McDonald’s cheeseburger and want to do enough exercise to burn it off, here are the numbers on how long it would take according to the exercise you’re doing:

Aerobics, low impact	272	1 hr, 8 mins
Bicycling, 12 mph	476	39 mins
Bicycling, stationary	408	45 mins
Bowling	136	2 hrs, 16 mins
Doing Laundry	68	4 hrs, 33 mins
Driving a car	68	4 hrs, 33 mins
Fishing	136	2 hrs, 16 mins
Gardening	204	1 hr, 31 mins
Golf, walking	224	1 hr, 22 mins
Hiking, cross country	340	54 mins
Inline Skating	748	24 mins
Jumping Rope, Slow	476	39 mins
Karate	612	30 mins
Pushing lawn mower	306	1 hr, 0 mins
Racquetball	612	30 mins
Raking lawn	224	1 hr, 22 mins
Running, 6 mph	612	30 mins
Shoveling Snow	340	54 mins
Sitting & reading	34	9 hrs, 7 mins
Sweeping	156	1 hr, 59 mins
Swimming, freestyle, slow	408	45 mins
Vacuuming	170	1 hr, 49 mins
Walking, 3 mph	156	1 hr, 59 mins
Washing Dishes	88	3 hrs, 31 mins
Yoga	102	3 hrs, 2 mins

So if you were doing the most strenuous exercise on the list, Inline Skating, it would take you 24 minutes to burn off that burger. That’s a long time! And how many of us do Inline Skating? Most likely, you’ll jump on the treadmill or stationary bike for 30 minutes, which means some of that burger is going straight to support our number one position as the fatties of the world.

If you want to lose weight, the first thing you have to do is pay attention to what you eat. That cookie from Subway? Twenty minutes of walking. That 12 ounce can of Coke? Twenty-three minutes of walking. A glass of sweet tea? The same.

What this means is that for all your good intentions, all it takes is one extra treat in a day – one cookie, one soda, one candy bar, a brownie – to blow your whole weight loss efforts for the day.

So if you want to lose weight, start a food journal. Write down everything you eat or drink that has calories. Yeah, it’s a pain, but it’s the first step to regaining control over what you eat and getting yourself off that list of fatties who contribute to our nation’s number one area of success.

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